Surgery Is Scheduled

Dear friends,

I got the phone call I've been waiting for about surgery. All surgeons have agreed and my operation is scheduled for Monday, January 26th. I have two prior appointments the week before. One with the gynecologist and one with urologist both on different days. So I will be staying in Detroit that week also. It's reassuring to know there will be at least three specialists in the operating room. Each will be using their expertise in removing parts that may need removing. Dr. Berri did give indication that parts of my colon and ovaries would be part of what will be taken out along with the tumor and any other cancerous spots they can find. Luckily still not my bladder.

I will be admitted on Sunday the 25th so that iv fluids and antibiotics can be started. I'm assuming surgery will be early Monday morning. This is going to be a huge undertaking and I'm not looking forward to the recovery process, but I thank God He will be there for me and heal me quickly. I have a very special baby I need to get back to so she doesn't forget her "Bobo." (short for grandmother in polish)

I'd like to ask that you keep me in your thoughts and prayers that everything goes well and I come home as soon as possible with little pain. I love you all and thank you for your support. Also, prayers for Mark wouldn't hurt either, there's a lot on his plate too. :) Thank you!

Love and hugs,

Jen
**But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. ~James 1:6

Surgeon Says...

Finally, I had an appointment with the surgeon to give me the full results of my MRI. He didn't give me much other information, but sounded more optimistic this time due to the tumor not invading the bladder. He is still going on blind faith because we still can't see clearly all that it is attached to.

He is going to consult with the gynecologist and urologist, and if they all agree they will do the surgery. If they can settle on it, I too will feel comfortable enough to have it done. God has given me a sense of peace about the whole thing and either decision I make, I know that He will bring good out of it.

I feel it is better to have it removed than to wait and have it grow and invade any further. I think I will feel a ton better to have it out of there. Not that I'm sick from it now, but I do have some uncomfortable moments.

I will know by next week about the surgeon's verdict and will let all know what it is and when the possible surgery might be. He told me the end of January, beginning of February. Just in time to heal before summer. :)

Semi-MRI Results

I finally got a call from my oncologist last week. She informed me that the radiologist could not see any invasion of the tumor into my bladder. That is good news. Hopefully meaning it would not have to be removed. However, the surgeon is the one who I am still waiting on to give me the full details as he ordered it in the first place.

I've been praying and praying about this and that God would help me decide what to do. Put surgery back on the table? Or leave well enough alone? Then it hit me. Pros and cons. All I need to hear is the positive and the negative and that will be my deciding factor. It's still not looking positive just from what I was told the last time. That the surgery would not guarantee buying me any more time. Plus there's the major surgery itself, the risk of infection, and so on. It sure takes a toll waiting on all these tests, doctors and results. Maybe there's better news this time!

My oncologist did say that if I were to decide against the surgery, she advised that I go back on the chemo pill and let it ride its course. I think she's afraid to leave me in limbo and have to give me a final time line. She has told me before it would only take months if I were to stop chemo all together. She's so sweet. We've become quite close in these last three years and I know that's not what she wants for me. Well, none of us do. But it's my faith in God that keeps me from worrying about that. I know he has future plans for me and it is just not my time yet. Either way, God's going to work it out. He's shown His mercy before and I believe He will again.

I am hoping to hear from the surgeon this week yet. I will post when I have any new news. Thank you all for your love, support and prayers.

Hugs,
Jen
**If you worship the Lord your God, I will bless your bread and water. I will take away sickness from you. ~Exodus 23:25

Surgery Does Not Look Hopeful

I've been sitting on pins and needles for over a week. The call finally came at 6:30 p.m. It was not what I wanted to hear. The camera still didn't give an accurate picture of just how embedded the tumor is into the tissue, vessels or even bone. What he does know is that my bladder, parts of my small intestines, and a full hysterectomy would have to ensue. He cannot guarantee me any more quality time than I have now. If he were to do the surgery, my quality of life would diminish and he does not want to put me through all that without any assurance that I would live longer. He actually said it would be a "morbid" thing to do.

On another note, he did recommend a pelvic MRI in hopes to see more clearly into the underbelly, so to speak, of the tumor. It may or may not help in swaying a surgery decision either way. The thing is, I am doing well now. I do not want to be positioned into a life of discomfort and risk. Not without some sort of reassurance that I'll have a few more years. I don't think chemotherapy is even an option now. There are phase I trials, but a different specialist already shot those down.

Basically, surgery looks to be out. By God's good grace I'll live a full and happy life just the way I am, and He will have the option to cure me. My trust is in Him. Where else can it be? When you're not sure about life, go to the one who gave it! So thankful He has accepted me and given me what I have now. Enjoy every moment friends, sometimes they're too short.

Please keep praying if you do. If you don't, just send me some love. :) I'll take all I can get. Thank you for reading and caring. My love to all of you!

I will post of the MRI results when I have those.

Jen

**I shall not die but live, and shall declare the works and recount the illustrious acts of the Lord. The Lord has chastened me sorely, but He has not given me over to death.  ~Psalm 118:17-18 AMEN!

Camera Surgery Reveal

Well friends, the surgery itself went well. Kind of feel like I've been stabbed with a small kitchen knife, but it's manageable. I wasn't given any restrictions or pain meds to go home with so I'm trying not to baby it.

I did not get the answers I was hoping for either. The doctor was not able to come talk to me as promised afterward. Story of my life, more waiting. However, he did tell my husband this:

He could not make a definite decision on his own. He needs to consult with his colleagues because of the size of the mass. If he were to do the "big one" it would be extensive and I will most likely lose my bladder, which I kind of figured since I've been having issues with it since the mass has grown. He also thinks maybe an ovary, but I'm not real clear on that.

The mass is contained to the lower region and is not anywhere "above." But he does not know if there are spots in other areas. I really didn't get much more information than that, but he wants to see me in another week. Uhhgh, another trip to Detroit. However, I'm hoping he will do a phone consult with me before hand so I can get some answers, but I think it's unlikely.

I wish I had more to share, but as soon as I know, I will post. Thank you again for all your prayers and support. They've brought me this far, and God bless it, they'll take me farther. :)

I love and appreciate every one of you. God bless and keep you all!

Love,

Jen

BOOK LAUNCH

It is finally done. "Bad Can Be Broken"- A story of cancer, karma and courage launched today. It is available under the pen name Raven White on Amazon.com, and iUniverse.com as well as many  other vendors. Please check it out. It is full of inspiration and helpful information as well as a great story.

Thank you in advance for supporting it.

Blessings,

Jen

**When a believing person prays, great things happen. -James 5:16

Surgery still up in the air!

My consultation with the surgeon wasn't exactly what I planned. I thought for sure we'd have a date set and I'd be in surgery within a month or two. Turns out, the safest procedure right now in his opinion is to perform laparscopic surgery. Which is, a small insicion where a camera is inserted to determine if surgery is even possible. The reason for this is the size of the tumor. This CT scan showed it at 25 cm. (about 10 in.) Quite large and unknown what is attached to it or if there is a lot of scar tissue, or if there are other smaller tumors around the abdominal area.

As of now, I am scheduled for this one day procedure with the camera on November 5th. It is minimally invasive and I will be able to go home that same day. After the examination, then I will know exactly if the HIPEC surgery and/or debulking (cutting out tumor) is possible. If it is, then I will be scheduled for that sometime in the beginning of December.

This pill form of chemo does not seem to be helping. The tumor is growing and my CEA, which is a sort of tracking of the growth and function of the chemo is up from 46 to 108. A normal range I believe is 2.4 or 4.2, I can't exactly remember. So it is quite high. When they first diagnosed me it was 275.

I'm fully using my faith on this. Without surgery I don't know what will happen. Experimental drugs, but I'm pretty sick of chemo and the possibility of it not working is daunting. I mean this approved drug I'm on has only lasted 6 months. Prayers please.

I will definately post again once I have the results of the laparoscopic method.

Thanks for reading and for all your prayers and support. It means a lot to me and keeps my faith strong.

Love and hugs,

Jen